


A Way To Make Amends

by Wallwalker



Category: Final Fantasy IX
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Post-Canon, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 23:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5068384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallwalker/pseuds/Wallwalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beatrix tries to make amends to Freya and to the two nations she had come close to destroying. Freya is not impressed, at least at first. Bridging rifts created by pride takes more than good intentions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Way To Make Amends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stealth_Noodle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stealth_Noodle/gifts).



> I was trying to write this for a challenge; unfortunately a whole lot of things happened at once, and the story got way bigger than I could manage in my reduced free time. I loved the idea, though, and I hated having to give it up, but there was no way I was going to meet that deadline! So I'm still working on it, and am posting it in chapters once they are beta'd. I hope you like it too!

“At last,” Beatrix breathed, staring at the book below her, her eyes shining.

She had spent far too much time in Daguerreo of late. Her hands hadn’t held a sword in a very long time, only scrolls and old pens, and her lungs were full of dust and the smell of old books, instead of sweat and metal. Her hands hurt in ways that she hadn’t thought were possible. But if this was truly what it claimed to be, then all of that was worthwhile.

“This is amazing!” Doctor Tot said beside her, peering down at the book. “I was not aware that such a thing even existed!”

Beatrix stood up, holding the precious old book in her hands. “Yes,” she said. “This is everything I hoped to find, and perhaps more.” 

The old bird nodded, peering back up at her. “I’d be happy to copy this for you, General Beatrix. I can’t imagine that the keepers of the library would let us part with such priceless information.”

“All of it?” She didn’t let go of the book quite yet; how could she, with the answers she’d been searching for finally in her hands? It had been months since she’d escorted Doctor Tot here; she had told Queen Garnet that there was something she’d needed to search for, to ease her mind after everything that had happened. And she’d insisted on going alone, although Steiner had asked if he could accompany her. Even with Zidane back in Alexandria, she didn’t want to leave the Queen with neither of them to guard her, and the Captain had understood that much, at least. 

“Yes, of course. It will take some time to complete, but I can enlist the help of some of the students. I’ll make sure that this is done properly. I know how important it must be to you, if you’ll pardon my boldness.” 

She nodded, her head still in a whirl. She hadn’t held out much hope of finding anything that could help make amends for what she had done. To be so close to it now was nothing short of a miracle. She finally placed the book back on the table, flexing her hands in their thin gloves; they would not allow anyone to touch books with their bare hands, because of their fragility. Strange, but they would not presume to tell her how to clean her sword, so she would not presume to argue with them. 

“We can have this finished within a fortnight’s time, if all goes well. This is a real pleasure, all duties aside. I’m very glad I was able to assist you, General.” 

“As am I,” she said. “Thank you. When I finally return to Alexandria, I will be sure to commend you to the Queen.” 

“When you return?” He looked up at her again. “You are not going there straight away, I gather?” 

She shook her head. “No. There is someone else I must speak to first.”

\---

The rain was as cold as Beatrix remembered. She shivered and pulled her coat tighter around herself, her head bowed as she made her way through the bare rocks. There were places like this near Burmecia, where the rain had drowned all of the flora and washed away the soil, leaving nothing but stone behind. 

Her sources had told her that Freya was patrolling here, at least for the moment. Why one of the King’s Dragon Knights was in such a barren place in times of peace, she couldn’t guess. Freya had always struck her as a solitary woman; perhaps this was her way of finding her own peace.

The camp was not far from here, they had said. Only an hours’ travel to the south from the border, and she had already been walking for some time. She could barely even feel the strain of her travels, with the first of the sheets that Doctor Tot had copied tucked into her coat, magically protected against the pouring rain. This was too important. 

She did not have to walk much further. She heard the rustle and the clicking of long claws against stone before the camp ever came into view, and turned to see Freya standing behind her. With her heavy sodden hat over her eyes, it was impossible to see what she might have been thinking. 

Beatrix did not draw her sword. “Hail, Lady Freya,” she said, saluting her. 

“General Beatrix. I'd heard you might be coming to find me.” Her spear was at rest as she came closer. “What do you wish of me?” 

“I have good news,” she said, and she could not help but smile. “I was hoping for your advice, before going to speak to your King.” 

“I see. And what is this news?” 

“I’ve discovered an ancient manuscript in Daguerreo,” she said, reaching for the page and pulling it out. The parchment shimmered as the rain was repelled by the protective magic. “It details the growing of the World Trees, including how one could be grown today. With this the tree that bore Cleyra could be regrown, and the nation restored!” 

Freya stared at her for a moment longer, under her hat, her spear at rest. “I see,” she finally said, her voice strangled. “But I hardly see where you need us, as you have already made your own plans.” 

“I... what?” She didn't know what she'd expected - gratitude, perhaps, or at least happiness. Certainly not cold anger. That stung her far more than she'd expected. "What are you saying?" 

Freya turned around to leave. “Good day to you, General.” 

“Aren’t you listening to me?” Beatrix took a step forward; she would not run after Freya, but she had to try to make her understand this. “I’ve found a way to give back what I’ve destroyed! What else could you wish of me?” 

“Enough consideration to ask us what _we_ want!” Freya shot back, turning to face her. “How are you supposed to make restitution for anything if you don’t know something so simple? Or do you just want to try to be our savior, even after slaying so many, then destroying one of our homes and almost bringing the other down around us as well?”

 _I didn’t destroy Cleyra!_ she wanted to scream. It hadn’t been her, it had been the Queen, and even _she_ had raised her sword to her in the end, after all of her quiet vows and the love she’d hidden for so long. But... she'd watched Queen Brahne change. And Beatrix had been caught up in commanding the soldiers and fortifying the castle against shadowy threats and keeping the Princess safe. She should’ve watched her more closely, should’ve seen what happened as Brahne had withdrawn, her appetites warping into something dangerous. 

She had been the closest to Queen Brahne after her husband had died. How could she have missed it?

Freya stared at her, her eyes narrowed. But when Beatrix opened her mouth to speak, she shook her head. “I thought as much,” she said, and turned away. “Your strength and resolve are impressive, General, but your pride is reprehensible. You should consider the needs of others before you decide to dictate their future. _That_ is my advice to you.”

A few years ago, Beatrix would’ve challenged her, cut her down where she stood. But now - with the knowledge of what she had allowed, and the memory that Freya had stood beside her when she’d finally thought to put it right - she could only bear the insult, as Freya turned to leap away over the jagged rocks. Watching her go... it left an empty feeling inside of her, something she had not expected. Certainly something besides the disappointment over having her gift rejected.

She had only wanted to make restitution for her crimes. Had it truly all for nothing?

Her steps were as heavy and sodden as she as she headed back to the border, where her ship was waiting.


End file.
